CHRISTIAN COUNSELING

HAVE YOU ASKED THESE QUESTIONS?

Was God asleep when the abuse happened?

If God was awake, why was nothing done to stop it?

Why was God silent?

Doesn’t God care?

How could people of God say they’re loving but they were absent when this happened to me?

Where is justice?

SOME PEOPLE ASK THESE QUESTIONS…

And rightly so.

If you practice a faith system that includes trusting in the Divine, it’s nearly impossible not to ask these hard questions.

The impact of trauma and abuse is comprehensive. There is very little in the survivor’s life that isn’t affected by it, and one’s spirituality isn’t excluded.

After the abuse, people look at life, relationships, justice, trust, religion, and God from a different lens.

WHAT MAKES IT EVEN MORE DIFFICULT

Many who grew up in religious families have been taught, directly or indirectly, that it isn’t okay to ask God tough questions.

They learned by words or by example that you're not allowed to have angry or doubtful thoughts about the Divine.

That if you do, it means you don’t really trust God. You’re failing in being a “good believer,” or you’re being ungrateful to the Holy One who gave you all, or other misconceptions of what it means to be a person of faith.

What makes it more painful is when the person who harmed you is a father, brother, a lover, a minister, or a friend - because in Christianity’s sacred text, these relationships are used to show how God wants to connect with people.

Women abuse children and the vulnerable but for those who were hurt by males, the pronoun “he” - the one that the God of the Bible uses to self-identify - that pronoun then becomes connected with pain and mistrust.

Instead of being the “he” in their lives who was supposed to be a protector and provider, this “he” was the one who abused, manipulated, betrayed, and withheld care. This “he” was untrustworthy.

It’s no wonder it’s hard for some survivors to trust God.

IF THIS IS TRUE OF YOU

You’re not alone. Please know that it’s okay to ask these questions.

It doesn’t necessarily mean you’ve lost faith. It may actually mean you have enough faith to ask what some people have pushed down and denied.

It may mean you’d rather engage directly with God instead of pretending you don’t have questions.

One clear example of this is Jacob. During a momentous journey, there were real threats to Jacob’s life and he was full of anxiety. He wrestled with God - because God showed up when Jacob needed Him. God didn’t punish Jacob for having fears and doubts. He allowed Jacob to wrestle with Him, and didn’t berate him for having the nerve to do so. God showed up and met Jacob where he was.

GRAPPLING WITH HARD QUESTIONS

When survivors become aware they’re with someone who accepts them for who they are and where they are in the journey, they feel a sense of freedom.

It’s the freedom from condemnation.

One of the things that’s so important for a survivor to know is that they are received just as they are, even with the doubts and questions in their minds.

SO WHERE WAS GOD DURING THE ABUSE?

If you are unsure that God cares for survivors and hates abuse so much that He did something costly about it, this is a question worth wrestling with.

God has stepped into the dirt and struggle of life as we experience it. He identifies with the pain that survivors feel - and if you want to explore what this means, it may be the opening into your healing path.

If you want someone to help you wrestle with God on your healing journey, there are people who are able to walk with you.

This is an open invitation.